Rant of the Week
It is time for my kids to go back to school, and this year, as always, the pressure is on for me to spend half a day trying to wrap their school books in clear sticky plastic sheets that are impossible to apply. The more claims manufacturers of these irritating products make about the supposed ease with which they will slip onto the covers of schoolbooks, the more likely I am to find them stuck to my fingers, nearby chairs and household pets, instead.
Even worse than this is the fact that there is never enough of them and they are extremely expensive. In order to afford enough of this useless junk to cover every school book, we would probably have to give up something quite important for a year, like eating.
Why do I have to do this? The books HAVE covers. Publishing companies don’t operate on the supposition that everyone will add a new cover once they purchase a book. If anything, publishing companies are rather more inclined to add superfluous covers than take away necessary ones. I am constantly wrestling to maintain the outer sleeves of hardback books, which seem to exist only to try to escape. These covers cower needily on bookshelves, trying to bond with every other book but the one to which they belong. Their other favourite spot is the middle of the kitchen floor, where they return time and again, presumably with the intention of causing someone to break their neck.
Moreover, if I may gripe a bit more, I have already paid quite a substantial sum for the schoolbooks, and the supposition that I am prepared to shell out more cash and spend about thirty minutes per book, just so they can look like something my youngest son creates when he plays with sellotape, is too much. This year, I am not going to do it. I am going to have a cup of coffee instead. The books will have to try their hardest to remain intact.